CHAPTER 3
TRUSTING OUR HUSBANDS
TRUST is the one thing that our husbands really want along with love and respect. Trust is worth
far more to them than our compliments. It shows them that you believe in him and have confidence
in him to make the right decisions. He gains inner strength from your trust and tries ever harder to
be careful to make good decisions so that he can keep your trust and confidence in him. He
begins to sore like a leader, both spiritually and in authority, because he know he has been given
something very special and of great value to him (your trust).
The opposite of trust is worry and doubt. I must say that I have had a very big struggle in this
area. I am a worrier and doubter and it is very hard for me to trust anyone. Especially someone
who is making decisions regarding my life! But I must and so I really work hard at this. It requires
complete surrender to the will of the Lord in order to do this. And the funny thing of it is, is that my
husband has always made very good decision for our family and I have never had a reason NOT
to trust him. But I am so stupid it seems that I still worry, even though he has a perfect track
record.
When we say “I don’t think your right” or “it probably won’t work out” or “I have no faith in your
plan” this makes him feel terrible because we don’t trust him. What if we doubted God? What if
we had no faith in His plan? Would we be saved today? What is the only thing that pleases God?
FAITH! “For without faith it is impossible to please God” it says in the Word. That is the
requirement needed to become a Christian.
The same with our husbands. They cry out “trust me,” “believe in me” and “follow me.”
Worry is lack of faith either in our husbands or in God. God’s Word says in Romans 8:28 “all
things work together for good for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.”
God says to us women, trust your husbands. Obey your husband; which is part of trusting them.
Submit to your own husbands (Ephesians 5), because submission is part of trust as well. And God
promises to see us through!
Just think, when we TRUST we won’t nag, complain or be jealous. They will have warm, happy,
secure homes to come home to filled with our loving attitude, and be so happy to be home with us.
You see man’s role is to guide, lead, protect and provide for us. God has given to him these
natural abilities.
TO GUIDE
His job is to lead his flock. To decide what’s best for them. To set up rules for the family and to
make the major decisions. This leaves us free to attend to our responsibilities and duties. It
relieves us of arguing and trying to be the head of the house. We don’t have to carry the weight
and worry over the decisions.
They can ask for our ideas and opinions on matters, or not. That is his right. He needs to feel that
when he “disregards” our ideas and opinions that we won’t resent him. He doesn’t have to explain
himself. He needs to feel that we don’t expect perfection and that we will give him room for
mistakes (if any) that he may make. So once we have given our ideas to him, let him make the
decision.
PROTECTOR
Men are physically strong than we are. They are braver and need to have the freedom to made
decisions that will PROTECT his family.
PROVIDER
Women should be careful when they make more money than their husbands do. It often causes
problems in the marriage because he feels like he is living off her income and not fulfilling his role
as provider for the home. He can begin to feel inferior and demeaned in his ability to provide.
He is very PROUD of his providing for us. We never want to complain and say things like “I wish I
had this” or “I wish I had that” unless of course, it is feasible for you to have those things. We
need to be satisfied with what they can give us. We don’t want to live outside our means but
become creative homemakers who shop wisely, look for ways to save, and find inexpensive ways
for the family to enjoy themselves without a lot of expense.
OURS IS A SUPPORT ROLE
We have a support ministry of backing him up. We are to be an appropriate help mate to him. To
help him make a success of his decision once he has made it. FEAR causes us to disagree,
because we women like security, and are less likely to want to take risks. Risks are scary because
they are the unknown and we are afraid of the unknown and the unfamiliar. They need to know
that we are behind them and will support them and encourage them.
Make your dreams portable; to fit in with your husband’s plans, so that you are going in the same
direction along with him. One key to a happy marriage is ADAPTABILITY! To say “yes let’s”
instead of “yes, but.”
We need to let our dear husbands know that we APPRECIATE them and their hard work on our
behalf and for his care and provision ( be it ever so humble). He’s investing most of his time trying
to conquer the world and bring it back to you.
Remember! It is when we surrender our lives to them in respect, honor, love and TRUST and are
willing to SERVE them and their needs, that we become really BEAUTIFUL both in God’s eyes and
in their eyes, like the woman in Proverbs 31.
TRUSTING OUR HUSBANDS
TRUST is the one thing that our husbands really want along with love and respect. Trust is worth
far more to them than our compliments. It shows them that you believe in him and have confidence
in him to make the right decisions. He gains inner strength from your trust and tries ever harder to
be careful to make good decisions so that he can keep your trust and confidence in him. He
begins to sore like a leader, both spiritually and in authority, because he know he has been given
something very special and of great value to him (your trust).
The opposite of trust is worry and doubt. I must say that I have had a very big struggle in this
area. I am a worrier and doubter and it is very hard for me to trust anyone. Especially someone
who is making decisions regarding my life! But I must and so I really work hard at this. It requires
complete surrender to the will of the Lord in order to do this. And the funny thing of it is, is that my
husband has always made very good decision for our family and I have never had a reason NOT
to trust him. But I am so stupid it seems that I still worry, even though he has a perfect track
record.
When we say “I don’t think your right” or “it probably won’t work out” or “I have no faith in your
plan” this makes him feel terrible because we don’t trust him. What if we doubted God? What if
we had no faith in His plan? Would we be saved today? What is the only thing that pleases God?
FAITH! “For without faith it is impossible to please God” it says in the Word. That is the
requirement needed to become a Christian.
The same with our husbands. They cry out “trust me,” “believe in me” and “follow me.”
Worry is lack of faith either in our husbands or in God. God’s Word says in Romans 8:28 “all
things work together for good for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.”
God says to us women, trust your husbands. Obey your husband; which is part of trusting them.
Submit to your own husbands (Ephesians 5), because submission is part of trust as well. And God
promises to see us through!
Just think, when we TRUST we won’t nag, complain or be jealous. They will have warm, happy,
secure homes to come home to filled with our loving attitude, and be so happy to be home with us.
You see man’s role is to guide, lead, protect and provide for us. God has given to him these
natural abilities.
TO GUIDE
His job is to lead his flock. To decide what’s best for them. To set up rules for the family and to
make the major decisions. This leaves us free to attend to our responsibilities and duties. It
relieves us of arguing and trying to be the head of the house. We don’t have to carry the weight
and worry over the decisions.
They can ask for our ideas and opinions on matters, or not. That is his right. He needs to feel that
when he “disregards” our ideas and opinions that we won’t resent him. He doesn’t have to explain
himself. He needs to feel that we don’t expect perfection and that we will give him room for
mistakes (if any) that he may make. So once we have given our ideas to him, let him make the
decision.
PROTECTOR
Men are physically strong than we are. They are braver and need to have the freedom to made
decisions that will PROTECT his family.
PROVIDER
Women should be careful when they make more money than their husbands do. It often causes
problems in the marriage because he feels like he is living off her income and not fulfilling his role
as provider for the home. He can begin to feel inferior and demeaned in his ability to provide.
He is very PROUD of his providing for us. We never want to complain and say things like “I wish I
had this” or “I wish I had that” unless of course, it is feasible for you to have those things. We
need to be satisfied with what they can give us. We don’t want to live outside our means but
become creative homemakers who shop wisely, look for ways to save, and find inexpensive ways
for the family to enjoy themselves without a lot of expense.
OURS IS A SUPPORT ROLE
We have a support ministry of backing him up. We are to be an appropriate help mate to him. To
help him make a success of his decision once he has made it. FEAR causes us to disagree,
because we women like security, and are less likely to want to take risks. Risks are scary because
they are the unknown and we are afraid of the unknown and the unfamiliar. They need to know
that we are behind them and will support them and encourage them.
Make your dreams portable; to fit in with your husband’s plans, so that you are going in the same
direction along with him. One key to a happy marriage is ADAPTABILITY! To say “yes let’s”
instead of “yes, but.”
We need to let our dear husbands know that we APPRECIATE them and their hard work on our
behalf and for his care and provision ( be it ever so humble). He’s investing most of his time trying
to conquer the world and bring it back to you.
Remember! It is when we surrender our lives to them in respect, honor, love and TRUST and are
willing to SERVE them and their needs, that we become really BEAUTIFUL both in God’s eyes and
in their eyes, like the woman in Proverbs 31.
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