CHAPTER 6
LOVE, DATES & MATES!
Love:
1. comes from the eternal realm
2. “God is Love”
3. love will remain (I Cor 13)
4. love is seeking the same thing together
5. love is caring
a. about something together
b. whether people, ministry, a pet, children or something else
6. love is sharing
a. goals
b. plans
c. opinions
d. experiences
All these bring about “love”
Making love is one of the privileges that God allows us to experience after we get married to the
one we love. It
is meant to be a continual part of our life, and not something we withhold from each other. It
must be entered into with the right attitude.
The right attitude is a giving of yourself to that person in the most intimate way possible, the
most personal way possible, in order to show your love and devotion to them. It is a spiritual
experience that transpires and that is why God warns so much about it in the Bible. He warns
against fornication, adultery, and says that the only acceptable reason for divorce in His eyes, is
unfaithfulness.
You see, something happens when you join yourself to another. There is a part of you that has
been given to another, and the two become one in a real sense. There is a flow in the spirit
between two people. That is what is meant when the Word says the two shall become one
flesh. That is why faithfulness in the marriage relationship is so critical, because if there is a
breech or breaking of that oneness between two married people, then there is a breaking of the
oneness that God intended a couple to have between each other. And for this reason, and this
reason alone, God says that divorce is acceptable.
Love is giving of ourselves for their sake, not for our own sake, when we feel so inclined and if
we want to. Giving often doesn’t want to, but does because of love. Love goes beyond our
flesh. Love gives for the sake of another.
Love making is not mere “sex” as we see it on TV or in the movies today. It is not lust and a
desire to fulfill our needs. It is not something we participate in to get “satisfied”. But love making
is a giving of ourselves to them for THEIR satisfaction between two married people who are one
in the sight of God. It is an expression of your love! It is not meant to be selfish. Love is not
dependent upon sex, so doesn’t have to be demanded of by the other person. Love
understands when the other is just TOO tired (for real), or under pressure, but the Bible does
say not be apart for too long lest the other one gets tempted.
Worldly sex without marriage can and often does exist without love. It never can experience the
spiritual beauty or the uniting of two souls into one. It is solely selfish and wants to feel secure.
Then it feels nervous, frustrated and guilty because it produced nothing “real”. The soul still
feels unfulfilled and empty. Only if your love and sex (the expression of your love) is given to
God and ordained by Him can it have any real meaning.
You may wonder why I got off on this subject. But it is because love and love making play such
a big part in a happy home.
Our appearance, our dates and our romance all hinge on our love life.
If you feel dislike, anger, resentment, dead to feelings, it is pretty hard to keep your personal
appearance up. We can tend to let ourselves go. Remember when he first dated us. How
much time did we spend fixing ourselves up for them? It’s hard to have much romance (and for
him the desirous to “date” us) when we feel this way.
So—We DO want Romance, Courtship, and Butterflies Again!
Then love him tenderly, for his sake. Dress up for him. Treat his with respect and honor. Make
love to him passionately, not with the attitude of “well, let’s hurry up and get this over with.” Flirt
with him like you did before. But then, be prepared when he responds, otherwise he will be
frustrated, hurt, withdraw and become cold. Then a wedge sets in.
If you’re guilty of being “cold”, unresponsive, dead, start afresh! Remember it’s for Him (in
obedience to His Word) and for him (our husbands) and NOT for us, as we undo any damage.
Satisfy him most affectionately. Build him up with love and security and true love. He will know
it and begin to respond romantically and dating and fun times and the butterflies and courtship
can begin all over again. We can have no other, so let’s give ourselves to the one we have.
Fun Date Ideas at Home:
Order a pizza and have it sent to your home. Play a game together and eat a snack (ex: cocoa),
or have a nice steak dinner and watch your favorite TV show together (after the kids are in bed).
Coffee table or TV tray meals with the lights down low, a fire in the fireplace, a table cloth and
candles set on the coffee table sitting on the floor can all be fun. Or go get a treat and a movie
at the video shop. Candlelight dinners (if he likes them-- they don’t mean very much to my
husband because he would rather SEE well when he is eating ha ha,) can be fun. Fondue by
candlelight on the coffee table and music going in the background. All of these can be “cheap
dates” at home that add a little spice and flavor to romance and can be a “home date”. We use
to tell the kids, mom and dad are going to have a home date tonight, so you need to play in your
rooms tonight until bedtime. Then we could have the living room all to ourselves.
Dates away from home:
Go out and get a coke or a float. Go get some fish and chips & go to the movies. Use your two
for one coupons cut out of the local throw away papers for fun and to save money. Take a drive
together and then get a snack or coffee at some little place.
If you cannot afford much, we use to sell our pop bottles in order to go out on a date, either with
or without the kids. Today, you can save and sell your pop cans stored in the garage, and get a
little extra spending money
that way.
Babysitting:
Hire a babysitter or you could exchange with another couple if there is no one else around who
will watch the kids. You can exchange so many hours for so many hours. Try to get the same
age group if possible so they can play together. It’s a sacrifice well worth it. Both you and your
husband need time alone together without
the children, just to keep your relationship in tact.
Try to get away as often as you think feasible, and also try to get away for a night or two
together sometime during the year if possible.
When the kids are teenagers it is fun to get away for a midnight snack somewhere, after
everyone is sound asleep in bed.
Remember quality time with our husbands is much more important than quantity time with them.
If we are going to have a date that night, but then he had to work late, or be out ministering to
someone that evening, then overlook it and do it when he gets home. Try to take a nap if at all
possible. You can still have
a “home date” with him in one way or another.
Now remember these are often all things WE like to do. The Bible says, “Give and it shall be
given to you, press down, shaken together and running over.” But we must try to think of
things THEY like to do!
Each man has his little things that are special and meaningful to him. For example; coffee
without asking, bringing him in the newspaper to read, having his shoes shined before he
NEEDS them and all ready to go, having his shirts iron or starched or dry cleaned and in the
closet ready for him. Having his lunch made for him before he goes to work, making him his
favorite foods. Men love food and love to make love. You’ve heard the old cliché that says “the
way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Looking pretty for him is also important to him.
These are all ideas for you so that you can think up ways to make your man feel loved, each one
is so different. Even going fishing, or to ballgames and etc with him.
Mood Setters:
He may or may not like any of these ideas when he gets home? Give him time to unwind, leave
him to be with his newspaper without presenting any problems to him the minute he walks in the
door. Some would like his slippers for ready for him (if he wears any) and some might like to
have a snack for him near where he sits or lays down. Have the children quiet (maybe with you
in a different room), or some may appreciate soft relaxing music playing when they walk in.
You ask, WILL HE NOTICE?
Eventually! Maybe not the first or second time, but YES eventually he will see the change and
love it. IF you keep it up. It takes diligent tenacity. He will begin to see a change and he will
respond, providing our attitudes remain sweet and loving.
So you see we have full time jobs right in our own homes. Not only do we have children to raise
for the Lord, according to Scripture with love, discipline and order, but ministry to our husbands
and becoming all that God
has required of us in that role as well. How in the world can we possibly do much more and do it
well? If we
have the luxury of staying home and being with children and husbands, and do not have to work
outside the home, then we are most blessed of women and should see it that way. Then we
have the TIME to implement these ideas in practice. If we do have to work outside our homes,
then remember the principles and the attitudes and try to apply as much as you can into your life
as your schedule permits. May
God bless you and bless your homes with love and happiness until the coming day of His
wonderful return!
LOVE, DATES & MATES!
Love:
1. comes from the eternal realm
2. “God is Love”
3. love will remain (I Cor 13)
4. love is seeking the same thing together
5. love is caring
a. about something together
b. whether people, ministry, a pet, children or something else
6. love is sharing
a. goals
b. plans
c. opinions
d. experiences
All these bring about “love”
Making love is one of the privileges that God allows us to experience after we get married to the
one we love. It
is meant to be a continual part of our life, and not something we withhold from each other. It
must be entered into with the right attitude.
The right attitude is a giving of yourself to that person in the most intimate way possible, the
most personal way possible, in order to show your love and devotion to them. It is a spiritual
experience that transpires and that is why God warns so much about it in the Bible. He warns
against fornication, adultery, and says that the only acceptable reason for divorce in His eyes, is
unfaithfulness.
You see, something happens when you join yourself to another. There is a part of you that has
been given to another, and the two become one in a real sense. There is a flow in the spirit
between two people. That is what is meant when the Word says the two shall become one
flesh. That is why faithfulness in the marriage relationship is so critical, because if there is a
breech or breaking of that oneness between two married people, then there is a breaking of the
oneness that God intended a couple to have between each other. And for this reason, and this
reason alone, God says that divorce is acceptable.
Love is giving of ourselves for their sake, not for our own sake, when we feel so inclined and if
we want to. Giving often doesn’t want to, but does because of love. Love goes beyond our
flesh. Love gives for the sake of another.
Love making is not mere “sex” as we see it on TV or in the movies today. It is not lust and a
desire to fulfill our needs. It is not something we participate in to get “satisfied”. But love making
is a giving of ourselves to them for THEIR satisfaction between two married people who are one
in the sight of God. It is an expression of your love! It is not meant to be selfish. Love is not
dependent upon sex, so doesn’t have to be demanded of by the other person. Love
understands when the other is just TOO tired (for real), or under pressure, but the Bible does
say not be apart for too long lest the other one gets tempted.
Worldly sex without marriage can and often does exist without love. It never can experience the
spiritual beauty or the uniting of two souls into one. It is solely selfish and wants to feel secure.
Then it feels nervous, frustrated and guilty because it produced nothing “real”. The soul still
feels unfulfilled and empty. Only if your love and sex (the expression of your love) is given to
God and ordained by Him can it have any real meaning.
You may wonder why I got off on this subject. But it is because love and love making play such
a big part in a happy home.
Our appearance, our dates and our romance all hinge on our love life.
If you feel dislike, anger, resentment, dead to feelings, it is pretty hard to keep your personal
appearance up. We can tend to let ourselves go. Remember when he first dated us. How
much time did we spend fixing ourselves up for them? It’s hard to have much romance (and for
him the desirous to “date” us) when we feel this way.
So—We DO want Romance, Courtship, and Butterflies Again!
Then love him tenderly, for his sake. Dress up for him. Treat his with respect and honor. Make
love to him passionately, not with the attitude of “well, let’s hurry up and get this over with.” Flirt
with him like you did before. But then, be prepared when he responds, otherwise he will be
frustrated, hurt, withdraw and become cold. Then a wedge sets in.
If you’re guilty of being “cold”, unresponsive, dead, start afresh! Remember it’s for Him (in
obedience to His Word) and for him (our husbands) and NOT for us, as we undo any damage.
Satisfy him most affectionately. Build him up with love and security and true love. He will know
it and begin to respond romantically and dating and fun times and the butterflies and courtship
can begin all over again. We can have no other, so let’s give ourselves to the one we have.
Fun Date Ideas at Home:
Order a pizza and have it sent to your home. Play a game together and eat a snack (ex: cocoa),
or have a nice steak dinner and watch your favorite TV show together (after the kids are in bed).
Coffee table or TV tray meals with the lights down low, a fire in the fireplace, a table cloth and
candles set on the coffee table sitting on the floor can all be fun. Or go get a treat and a movie
at the video shop. Candlelight dinners (if he likes them-- they don’t mean very much to my
husband because he would rather SEE well when he is eating ha ha,) can be fun. Fondue by
candlelight on the coffee table and music going in the background. All of these can be “cheap
dates” at home that add a little spice and flavor to romance and can be a “home date”. We use
to tell the kids, mom and dad are going to have a home date tonight, so you need to play in your
rooms tonight until bedtime. Then we could have the living room all to ourselves.
Dates away from home:
Go out and get a coke or a float. Go get some fish and chips & go to the movies. Use your two
for one coupons cut out of the local throw away papers for fun and to save money. Take a drive
together and then get a snack or coffee at some little place.
If you cannot afford much, we use to sell our pop bottles in order to go out on a date, either with
or without the kids. Today, you can save and sell your pop cans stored in the garage, and get a
little extra spending money
that way.
Babysitting:
Hire a babysitter or you could exchange with another couple if there is no one else around who
will watch the kids. You can exchange so many hours for so many hours. Try to get the same
age group if possible so they can play together. It’s a sacrifice well worth it. Both you and your
husband need time alone together without
the children, just to keep your relationship in tact.
Try to get away as often as you think feasible, and also try to get away for a night or two
together sometime during the year if possible.
When the kids are teenagers it is fun to get away for a midnight snack somewhere, after
everyone is sound asleep in bed.
Remember quality time with our husbands is much more important than quantity time with them.
If we are going to have a date that night, but then he had to work late, or be out ministering to
someone that evening, then overlook it and do it when he gets home. Try to take a nap if at all
possible. You can still have
a “home date” with him in one way or another.
Now remember these are often all things WE like to do. The Bible says, “Give and it shall be
given to you, press down, shaken together and running over.” But we must try to think of
things THEY like to do!
Each man has his little things that are special and meaningful to him. For example; coffee
without asking, bringing him in the newspaper to read, having his shoes shined before he
NEEDS them and all ready to go, having his shirts iron or starched or dry cleaned and in the
closet ready for him. Having his lunch made for him before he goes to work, making him his
favorite foods. Men love food and love to make love. You’ve heard the old cliché that says “the
way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Looking pretty for him is also important to him.
These are all ideas for you so that you can think up ways to make your man feel loved, each one
is so different. Even going fishing, or to ballgames and etc with him.
Mood Setters:
He may or may not like any of these ideas when he gets home? Give him time to unwind, leave
him to be with his newspaper without presenting any problems to him the minute he walks in the
door. Some would like his slippers for ready for him (if he wears any) and some might like to
have a snack for him near where he sits or lays down. Have the children quiet (maybe with you
in a different room), or some may appreciate soft relaxing music playing when they walk in.
You ask, WILL HE NOTICE?
Eventually! Maybe not the first or second time, but YES eventually he will see the change and
love it. IF you keep it up. It takes diligent tenacity. He will begin to see a change and he will
respond, providing our attitudes remain sweet and loving.
So you see we have full time jobs right in our own homes. Not only do we have children to raise
for the Lord, according to Scripture with love, discipline and order, but ministry to our husbands
and becoming all that God
has required of us in that role as well. How in the world can we possibly do much more and do it
well? If we
have the luxury of staying home and being with children and husbands, and do not have to work
outside the home, then we are most blessed of women and should see it that way. Then we
have the TIME to implement these ideas in practice. If we do have to work outside our homes,
then remember the principles and the attitudes and try to apply as much as you can into your life
as your schedule permits. May
God bless you and bless your homes with love and happiness until the coming day of His
wonderful return!
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