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Chapter 5
DISCIPLINE LEADING TO OBEDIENCE
IS GOD’S FAITH TRAINING PROGRAM!
Definition of Discipline:
“training that develops self-control, character, or increases orderliness or efficiency.”
Now doesn’t seem very necessary to have in our lives?
If our children obey a parent’s voice, they are more ready to hear God’s voice when He
calls. Samuel obeyed Eli (because Eli was Samuel’s guardian). Then he was able to
hear God calling him in the middle of the night. God told Samuel that all of Eli’s children
were going to die because of their disobedience.
Our words of command to our children or our promises to our children are to be
followed through almost without fail. They must learn that punishment results from their
disobedience, and that when we promise them something, that too will be carried out.
They must learn that our words are reliable either way. This teaches them faith and
trust in God. For if we can be counted on to carry out our words, then most certainly
God will be faithful to carry out His Words. They learn that God can be counted on
and that He never fails. They learn also that He punishes when He needs to (like we
do), but they also learn His love and His justice (because we are loving and just).
Even Jesus had natural parents that He had to learn to obey.
Heb 12:6 says “the Lord loveth whom He chaseneth.” Proverbs 3:11 also says this,
“My son do not reject the discipline of the Lord.”
There is an old claque that says, “spare the rod, spoil the child.”
Well, Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth
him chasteneth him betimes (more than once).
Proverbs also says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of
correction will drive it far from him.” Foolishness is rebellion!
Heb 12:11 says, “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous but grievous—
nevertheless—afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness.” And this is
what we want more than anything else, the peaceable fruit of righeousness!
Motivation:
All punishment or correction or discipline is for a child’s good; in order to turn them from
error and to cause them to go the right way. When a teacher corrects a child’s papers
and puts red marks on the wrong answers, she is showing the child that this is not the
correct answer, and he must find the right answer to the problem. Much like us, we
correct children in order to turn them to the right way from the wrong way.
God’s reason for punishment is “for our profit that we might be partakers of His
holiness.” Praise the Lord! It is worth any correction we may have to undergo. We are
to have the same motives too. We are not to punish out of anger, frustration,
embarrassment, humiliation or any other reason.
If we punish from wrong motives, scream and yell, it does no good. It goes in one ear
and out the other. It builds resentment in a child’s heart that can turn to hatred later on
if a parent continues in this behavior on a consistent basis, and the child continues to
do the same thing again.
Stop the problem before it gets out of hand! Before we blow up, after one warning,
when we are still emotionally in tact so to speak. For example, when our children are
bickering and quarrelling. Stop it right away.
Consistency:
We need to establish consistency in our homes in two areas: consistency in love, and
consistency in punishment. Children need both in order to flourish. They need to know
where the boundaries are and not to cross them or they will have to suffer the
consequences for their actions. They also need to know that they are still loved when
they are corrected.
Never Threaten & Not Carry Through
Children will lose respect for your word, and they perhaps won’t trust in God to follow
through if they can’t depend upon you to carry through with what you say. First we
warn, then follow through. Even if it takes effort and energy, still get up from the chair
and follow through! Stop what you’re doing and follow through. I know that sometimes
we get lax and swing back the other way, but it is important that we carry out what we
say.
Severity:
Each child is different and what affects one does not affect the other. We have to learn
what breaks the sin or rebellion behind their action and what type of action they
respond to. Pain and tears usually washes this out and away.
Where to discipline.
We try to never discipline in public, but try to take them aside and do what is necessary,
not scolding them in front of others causing embarrassment. This can cause hostility in
them. We do not want to humiliate them or make them look stupid or put them down in
front of others. That hurts so much. It is worse than the spanking they will get, so take
them aside. But DO discipline in love! Then they will know that you love them but just
want them to do the right thing. Remember Jesus didn’t reprimand the disciples in front
of others, but only when He was alone with them.
How to Discipline
We must be sure to treat all our children fairly and without partiality. They definitely
KNOW what is fair and not fair. God usually warns us but if we already know better
and do something anyway, that we have been told many times not to do, then
correction comes quite quickly. For example, Johnny forgets to take out the garbage
every day and everyday you have to remind him to do so, or we tell them “Don’t
interrupt when others are talking.” These are two examples that children often do
repeatedly if not corrected, and it can’t just continue to go on. These actions must
stop! Some form of punishment for their repeated offense must be the result.
We are looking for a heart response as well as their obedience. Just like our Heavenly
Father is looking for our heart responses to situations. He knows what is best for us.
He knows that chastening is right for us sometimes, and we know what is best for our
children and that chastening is right for them sometimes too. But He creates in us a
desire to please Him by His love for us. A heart response will result from our children if
they feel loved and respected, shown warmth and joy from us. The Bible tells us that,
“we love Him because He first loved us.” And the same is true with our children.
DISCIPLINE LEADING TO OBEDIENCE
IS GOD’S FAITH TRAINING PROGRAM!
Definition of Discipline:
“training that develops self-control, character, or increases orderliness or efficiency.”
Now doesn’t seem very necessary to have in our lives?
If our children obey a parent’s voice, they are more ready to hear God’s voice when He
calls. Samuel obeyed Eli (because Eli was Samuel’s guardian). Then he was able to
hear God calling him in the middle of the night. God told Samuel that all of Eli’s children
were going to die because of their disobedience.
Our words of command to our children or our promises to our children are to be
followed through almost without fail. They must learn that punishment results from their
disobedience, and that when we promise them something, that too will be carried out.
They must learn that our words are reliable either way. This teaches them faith and
trust in God. For if we can be counted on to carry out our words, then most certainly
God will be faithful to carry out His Words. They learn that God can be counted on
and that He never fails. They learn also that He punishes when He needs to (like we
do), but they also learn His love and His justice (because we are loving and just).
Even Jesus had natural parents that He had to learn to obey.
Heb 12:6 says “the Lord loveth whom He chaseneth.” Proverbs 3:11 also says this,
“My son do not reject the discipline of the Lord.”
There is an old claque that says, “spare the rod, spoil the child.”
Well, Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth
him chasteneth him betimes (more than once).
Proverbs also says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of
correction will drive it far from him.” Foolishness is rebellion!
Heb 12:11 says, “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous but grievous—
nevertheless—afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness.” And this is
what we want more than anything else, the peaceable fruit of righeousness!
Motivation:
All punishment or correction or discipline is for a child’s good; in order to turn them from
error and to cause them to go the right way. When a teacher corrects a child’s papers
and puts red marks on the wrong answers, she is showing the child that this is not the
correct answer, and he must find the right answer to the problem. Much like us, we
correct children in order to turn them to the right way from the wrong way.
God’s reason for punishment is “for our profit that we might be partakers of His
holiness.” Praise the Lord! It is worth any correction we may have to undergo. We are
to have the same motives too. We are not to punish out of anger, frustration,
embarrassment, humiliation or any other reason.
If we punish from wrong motives, scream and yell, it does no good. It goes in one ear
and out the other. It builds resentment in a child’s heart that can turn to hatred later on
if a parent continues in this behavior on a consistent basis, and the child continues to
do the same thing again.
Stop the problem before it gets out of hand! Before we blow up, after one warning,
when we are still emotionally in tact so to speak. For example, when our children are
bickering and quarrelling. Stop it right away.
Consistency:
We need to establish consistency in our homes in two areas: consistency in love, and
consistency in punishment. Children need both in order to flourish. They need to know
where the boundaries are and not to cross them or they will have to suffer the
consequences for their actions. They also need to know that they are still loved when
they are corrected.
Never Threaten & Not Carry Through
Children will lose respect for your word, and they perhaps won’t trust in God to follow
through if they can’t depend upon you to carry through with what you say. First we
warn, then follow through. Even if it takes effort and energy, still get up from the chair
and follow through! Stop what you’re doing and follow through. I know that sometimes
we get lax and swing back the other way, but it is important that we carry out what we
say.
Severity:
Each child is different and what affects one does not affect the other. We have to learn
what breaks the sin or rebellion behind their action and what type of action they
respond to. Pain and tears usually washes this out and away.
Where to discipline.
We try to never discipline in public, but try to take them aside and do what is necessary,
not scolding them in front of others causing embarrassment. This can cause hostility in
them. We do not want to humiliate them or make them look stupid or put them down in
front of others. That hurts so much. It is worse than the spanking they will get, so take
them aside. But DO discipline in love! Then they will know that you love them but just
want them to do the right thing. Remember Jesus didn’t reprimand the disciples in front
of others, but only when He was alone with them.
How to Discipline
We must be sure to treat all our children fairly and without partiality. They definitely
KNOW what is fair and not fair. God usually warns us but if we already know better
and do something anyway, that we have been told many times not to do, then
correction comes quite quickly. For example, Johnny forgets to take out the garbage
every day and everyday you have to remind him to do so, or we tell them “Don’t
interrupt when others are talking.” These are two examples that children often do
repeatedly if not corrected, and it can’t just continue to go on. These actions must
stop! Some form of punishment for their repeated offense must be the result.
We are looking for a heart response as well as their obedience. Just like our Heavenly
Father is looking for our heart responses to situations. He knows what is best for us.
He knows that chastening is right for us sometimes, and we know what is best for our
children and that chastening is right for them sometimes too. But He creates in us a
desire to please Him by His love for us. A heart response will result from our children if
they feel loved and respected, shown warmth and joy from us. The Bible tells us that,
“we love Him because He first loved us.” And the same is true with our children.
